Blonde Sheep Winner
There was a blonde who was tired of all the blonde jokes and decided to dye her hair brown. She then went for a drive in the country and came upon a shepherd herding his sheep across the road.
She asked the shepherd, “If I guess how many sheep there are here, can I keep one?”
He replied “Sure!”
Out of the blue, she blurts out, “352!”
He is stunned but keeps his word and allows her to pick out a sheep. She looks and searches and finally picks out the cutest one.
He looks at her and says, “If I guess what color your hair really is, can I have my dog back!”
Drowning In A Pickup
There were two brunettes in the front of a truck, and three blonds in the back. They rolled off a cliff into the ocean. The brunettes survived, but the blonds died. Why?
They couldn’t get the tailgate open.
Microsoft Support
A Microsoft support man goes to a firing range. He shoots 10 bullets at the target 50m away. Then the supervisors check the target and see that there’s not even a single hit, and they shout to him that he missed completely. So he tells them to recheck, and gets the same answer. Then he put his finger at the top of the gun and shoots, blasting off his finger. When he saw it he shouted back “I don’t know, it’s working perfectly here, the problem must yours…”
Microsoft to Sell Ad Space in Error Messages
Microsoft announced that it is selling advertising space in the error messages that appear in Windows. Acknowledging for the first time that the average user of their operating system encounters error messages at least several times a day, Microsoft is trying to take financial advantage of the unavoidable opportunity to make an ad impression. “We estimate that throughout the world at any given moment several million people are getting a “general protection fault” or “illegal operation” warning. We will be able to generate significant revenue by including a short advertising message along with it,” said Microsoft marketing director Nathan Mirror. The Justice Department immediately indicated that they intend to investigate whether Microsoft is gaining an unfair advantage in reaching the public with this advertising by virtue of its semi-monopolistic control over error messages.
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Lost Engine
A blonde woman is driving a Porsche. She sees another blonde woman with a Porsche that has broken down on the side of the road. She stops to ask what’s wrong. The owner of the broken Porsche said, “I just had a look under the hood, well, while I was driving somebody had stolen the engine.”
The other said, “Oh, don’t wory, I have a spare one in the back.”
Smartest Hair Color
Three dumb blondes were shipwrecked on a desert island. They came across a magic lamp and a genie came out.
The genie said that he would grant them each a wish.The first blonde asked to be made smart, the genie turned her into a brunette and she swam off the island.
The second blonde asked to be even more smarter, so the genie turned her red hair and she built a boat and sailed off the island.
The third blonde asked to be made the smartest, so the genie turned her into a man and he walked onto the bridge, and off the island.
Reassured
Two blonde roommates went shopping one day. On the way, one blonde told the other that she had forgotten to switch off the iron. The second blonde turned to her friend and very cooly assured her that the house would not catch fire as she had left the tap running.
Iron Phone
Iron Phone
A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had had happened to her ears?
“I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear.”
“Oh Dear!” the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. “But .. what happened to your other ear?”
“The son-of-a-bitch called back.”
Bad Name
Bad Name
There is this blonde in the middle of a parking lot rowing a boat.
This other blonde drives by and sees this blonde rowing a boat in the middle of a parking lot. So she stops her car gets out and yells, “IF I COULD SWIM, I WOULD SIM OVER THERE AND DROWN YOU. YOU GIVE US BLONDES A BAD NAME!!”
Thank God It’s Friday
Thank God It’s Friday
A business man got on an elevator in a building. When he entered the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying, “T-G-I-F” (letters only).
He smiled at her and replied, “S-H-I-T” (letters only).”
She looked at him, puzzled, and said, “T-G-I-F” again.
He acknowledged her remark again by answering, “S-H-I-T.”
The blond was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly “T-G-I-F” another time.
The man smiled back to her and once again replied with a quizzical expression, “S-H-I-T.”
The blond finally decided to explain things, and this time she said, “T-G-I-F, Thank Goodness It’s Friday, get it?”
The man answered, “Sorry, Honey, It’s Thursday.”
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Golfing In Montana
Vietnam Calling Card
Shelby Montana
Santiago Property
Passing A Drug Urine Test
