You Might be Addicted to AOL if

* Tech Support calls “You” for help.* Someone at work tells you a joke and you say LOL.* You watch TV with the closed captioning turned on.* You have called out someone’s screen name while making love to your significant other.* You keep begging your friends to get an account “so we can hang out.”* […]

November 11, 2007 | Filed Under You know you are a..., Geek | Share your thoughts... 

You Might Be A Rednick If… (Part V)

…you think a ‘cursor’ is someone who swears a lot.
…you think a computer hacker carries an axe.
…you think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.
…you think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
…you think cur is a breed of dog.
…you think mud rasslin’ should be an Olympic sport.
…you think people that send out […]

September 12, 2006 | Filed Under You know you are a... | Share your thoughts... 

You Might Be A Rednick If… (Part IV)

…you have a bowling machine in your kitchen.
…you have a clawfoot bathtub.
…you have a color coordinating rope that ties down your car hood.
…you have a rag for a gas cap (on a car that does run).
…you have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions.
…you have accidentally taken a drink from your spit can.
…you […]

September 11, 2006 | Filed Under You know you are a... | Share your thoughts... 

You Might Be A Rednick If… (Part III)

…the most common phrase in your house is, “Someone go jiggle the handle.”
…the oak tree in the front yard is an essential piece of automotive repair equipment (how else are you gonna pull the engine out of the old Dodge?)
…the receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.
…the taillight covers of your car […]

September 9, 2006 | Filed Under You know you are a... | Share your thoughts... 

You Might Be A Rednick If… (Part II)

…”Bambi” made you hungry for rabbit!
…An expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall.
…a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.
…a policeman asks for your ID, and you answer, “About what?”
…a tornado goes through your trailer’s yard and makes it look neater.
…after the divorce you still call your Ex “Cuz”.
…any […]

September 8, 2006 | Filed Under You know you are a... | Share your thoughts... 

You Might Be A Rednick If… (Part VI)

…you’ve ever re-used a paper plate.
…you’ve ever shot anyone for looking at you.
…you’ve ever shot somebody over a mall parking space.
…you’ve ever slam-shifted a tractor.
…you’ve ever spray painted your girlfriend’s name on an overpass.
…you’ve ever strained your tea through a flyswatter.
…you’ve ever told the local sheriff that you smell a pig and he replies, “I […]

September 6, 2006 | Filed Under You know you are a... | Share your thoughts... 

You Might Be A Rednick If… (Part VII)

…your kids LIKE the Arch Deluxe hamburger at McDonalds.
…your kids can’t go out for Hollween because there’s nobody within walking distance to get candy from.
…your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
…your lips move while reading a stop sign.
…your masseuse uses lard.
…your master bathroom has the words “porta” and “potty” written on the side.
…your […]

September 4, 2006 | Filed Under You know you are a... | Share your thoughts... 

You Might Be A Physics Major

if you have no life - and you can PROVE it mathematically.
if you enjoy pain.
if you know vector calculus but you can’t remember how to do long division.
if you chuckle whenever anyone says “centrifugal force.”
if you’ve actually used every single function on your graphing calculator.
if when you look in a mirror, you see a physics […]

August 17, 2006 | Filed Under You know you are a... | Share your thoughts... 

You May Be A Redneck Pilot If…

… your stall warning plays “Dixie.”
… your cross-country flight plan uses flea markets as check points.
… you think sectionals charts should show trailer parks.
… you’ve ever used moonshine as avgas.
… you have mud flaps on your wheel pants.
… you think GPS stands for going perfectly straight.
… your toothpick keeps poking your mike.
… you constantly confuse […]

July 5, 2006 | Filed Under Redneck, You know you are a... | Share your thoughts... 

Dis Letter

Dear _______________,
I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Mr. Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening come available. […]

March 6, 2006 | Filed Under You know you are a... | Share your thoughts... 

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