A Novel Approach to Saving Money
Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket.
“How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?” asks an accountant.
“Watch and you’ll see,” answers an engineer.
They all board the train. […]
The Mexican
A Mexican family crosses over the border to the Land of Milk and Honey where the streets are paved with gold. But the husband can find no work.
His family is hungry, so he takes a walk to a quiet place at the foot of a big hill, kneels at the base of a tree, […]
Ignorance Is No Disgrace
The little brother of an Army radar operator asked: “Jim, tell me how does a radar work?”
“The radar transmitter emits brief impulses of electromagnetic waves which are reflected from the target and received by a special receiver. Since the speed at which electromagnetic waves propagate is exactly known and the time they take to travel […]
Wrong Cell Phone
There are several men sitting around in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly a cell phone on one of the benches rings. A man picks it up, and the following conversation ensues:
“Hello?”
“Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”
“Yes.”
“Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I […]
Black Hair
The black dude walked into the house to see his wife dancing seductively in front of him. “Hey babe,” he said. “Where’d you get that grass skirt?” “That aint no grass skirt,” she replied. “I had my hair straightened.”
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Helen Keller Jokes
Q: What is Helen Keller’s favorite color?
A1: Corduroy.
A2: Velcro.
Q. Why is all of Helen Keller’s face burnt?
A. She was bobbing for french fries.
Q: How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face?
A: She answer the iron.
Q: How did she burn the other side of her face?
A: They called back.
Q: Why was Helen Keller’s leg […]
First Time Skydiver
A man goes skydiving for the first time. After listening to the instructor for what seems like days, he is ready to go. Excited, he jumps out of the airplane. After a bit, he pulls the ripcord.
Nothing happens.
He tries again.
Still nothing.
He starts to panic, but remembers his back-up chute. He pulls that cord.
Nothing happens.
He frantically […]
Persistant Stoner
A stoner walks into a 7-11 and asks the clerk “got any weed?” the clerk responds “Hell no you damn stoner”. The next day the stoner returns he asks the clerk “got any weed” the clerk outraged smashes the stoners head on the counter and says, “Look you stoner if you come in here and […]
Things That Make You Go Hmmmmm!!
The incidence of coincidence is so prevalent, that it cannot be considered coincidence.
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights. […]
Car Fart
A lady walked into a Lexus dealership just to browse. Suddenly she spotted the most beautiful car that she had ever seen and walked over to inspect it. As she bent forward to feel the fine leather upholstery, an unexpected little fart escaped her. Embarrassed, she anxiously looked around to see if anyone had noticed […]
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