How to Identify Where a Driver is From
1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: Chicago.
2. One hand on wheel, one finger out window: New York.
3. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: New Jersey.
4. One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston.
5. One hand on wheel, one hand […]
You’re stuck between the Baby Boomers and Generations X’ers if:
1. You remember when Jordache jeans with a flat handle comb in the back pocket was cool.
2. In your class picture you were wearing an Izod shirt with the collar up.
3. You know by heart the words to any Weird Al Yankovic song (Just eat it, eat it, don’t make me repeat it…)
4. You ever […]
The Top 15 Euphemisms for Impotence
15. 180 degrees shy of heaven
14. Performing with Flaccido Domingo
13. A few parts shy of an erector set
12. Sch-wing and a miss
11. Not rising to the level of impeachable offense
10. The Null Monty
9. Disappointing Miss Daisy
8. Taking the gold at the Lake Flaccid Olympics
7. Ascension Deficit Disorder
6. Bouncing the Check of Love
5. Less-than-Magic Johnson
4. All […]
Top Ten Hobbies Of Darth Vader
10) Making prank “heavy breathing” phone calls
9) Sneaking up behind Star Destroyer crew members, covering their eyes, and demanding “Guess who?”
8) Practicing throwing Palpatine doll down pits
7) Genealogy
6) Using the force to learn to juggle
5) Mortal Kombat 5436
4) Using mind-reading ability to win at Battleship
3) Late nights with a pain droid
2) Sending anonymous love-notes to […]
Reasons The 80’s Were A Cooler Time To Grow Up Than The 90’s
10) MTV actually played videos in the 80’s.
9) There were only one kind of Nike tennis shoes (white with a red swish), and they didn’t cost $125.
8) A comb in your back pocket is more practical and less painful than a ring through your nose.
7) In the 80’s playing video games actually meant going out […]
Top Ten Reasons To Like Wedge Antilles
10. He saved Luke’s life about a bizillion times
9. He’s cool
8. He helped destroy 3, count em’, 3 Death Stars (Read the books!)
7. He eats TIE fighters for breakfast
6. He’s cool
5. He has that stylish orange flight jump suit
4. “Look at the size of that thing!”
3. He’s cool
2. He can topple an AT-AT in his […]
Top 10 Reasons Why Bossk Is The Coolest Bounty Hunter
10. His action figure kicks butt.
9. Two words: live lunch.
8. His ship, “The Hound’s Tooth,” has bitchin’ flame decals and fuzzy dice.
7. It’s easier to give someone the middle finger since he’s only got three fingers.
6. He’s the only bounty hunter with built-in snakeskin.
5. His bloddshot eyes are from constant partying.
4. He’s nice to his […]
Why Star Wars Characters Would Kick Butt In The Star Trek Universe
10) In the Star Wars universe, weapons rarely, if ever, are set on “stun.”
9) The Enterprise needs a huge engine room with an anti-matter unit and a crew of twenty just to go into warp. The Millenium Falcon does the same thing with just R2-D2 and a Wookie.
8) After resisting the Imperial torture droid and […]
Top Ten Reasons Not To Join The Empire
10. Stormtroopers are the Empire’s first line of defense.
9. All ships and installations are built around a “main reactor.”
8. Exhaust ports are big enough for proton torpedoes and always lead to the “main reactor”.
7. TIE Fighters have no shields.
6. The Emperor’s best troops were defeated by rock and stick wielding teddy bears.
5. Officers over the […]
Top Ten Hobbies Of Darth Vader
10) Making prank “heavy breathing” phone calls
9) Sneaking up behind Star Destroyer crew members, covering their eyes, and demanding “Guess who?”
8) Practicing throwing Palpatine doll down pits
7) Genealogy
6) Using the force to learn to juggle
5) Mortal Kombat 5436
4) Using mind-reading ability to win at Battleship
3) Late nights with a pain droid
2) Sending anonymous love-notes to […]
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Overcoming Insomnia
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Simple Student Loan Consolidation
