The Soccer Stars
A teacher at a school for blind kids is taking his school’s soccer team to an “away game”. They stop for a rest break, and to let the kids work off some energy with a little impromptu practice in a nearby pasture. The teacher is sitting in a nearby diner, explaining to another patron how […]
Football Lingo
A guy comes home from the bar drunk one night around 3 in the morning. His wife is sleeping and he is trying to sneak into bed. He’s laying in bed for a few minutes and cuts a fart. His wife wakes up and asks, “What in the world was that?”
He replies, “Touchdown, I am […]
The Scotsman At The Baseball Game
A recent Scottish immigrant to the U.S. attended his first baseball game. After a base hit, he heard the fans roaring, “Run…run!”
The next batter connected heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stood up and roared with the crowd in his thick accent, “R-r-r-un yah bahstard. R-r-run!”
A third batter slammed a hit and again the […]
The Football Exam
Two football players were taking an important final exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the Sugar Bowl the following week. The exam was fill-in-the-blank. The last question read, “Old MacDonald had a _________.”
Bubba was stumped. He had no idea of the answer. He knew he […]
The Football Moms
Three Italian mothers were attending a football game. Each had a son playing on the same team. At the start of the game, the first boy saw his opportunity, grabbed the ball and running quickly, out-foxed the opposing team, making the first touchdown. His mother, obviously proud of her son, sprang from the bleachers, shouting […]
Olympic Ice Skating
It is the Olympic men’s figure skating. Out comes the Russian competitor, he skates around to some classical music in a slightly dull costume, performs some excellent leaps but without any great artistic feel for the music.
The Judges’ scores read: Britain 5.8: Russia 5.9: United States 5.5: Ireland 6.0
Next comes the American competitor in a […]
Adopted By the Boston Red Sox
A child custody case was held in court. The judge felt that the mother and father were both fit to be parents and therefore couldn’t decide who he should grant full custody to. So he asks the little boy, “Would you like to live with your mother?”
“No.” said the boy.
“Why not?” said the judge.
“Because she […]
Swimming Head
Three guys enter a disabled swimming contest. The first has no arms. The second no legs and the third has no body, just a head. They all line up, the whistle blows and “splash” they’re all in the pool
The guy with no arms takes the lead instantly but the guy with no legs is closing […]
The Slow Golfers
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning at the third tee (par 3, 185 yards, slight dog leg to left, water hazard on the right) while a particularly slow group of golfers were flailing away ahead of them.
Engineer: What’s with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!
Doctor: I […]
Christ Returns to the NBA
After a two-year hiatus from basketball, Jesus Christ returned to the NBA last night, playing with his former team, the Atlanta Hawks. Christ, who quit the sport in May 1994 to focus on spreading His message of universal love and compassion, made His triumphant return last night against the Bulls, just in time for Easter […]
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