Wedding Registry
Wedding Registry
Jacob age 85, and Rebecca age 79 are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way go past a drugstore. Jacob suggests that they go in. He addresses the man behind the counter: “Are you the owner?” The pharmacist answers, “Yes.” […]
Stupid Wives
John, Brian, and Martin were sitting on the front porch, drinking a little ’shine, and talking about their dumb ole’ hillbilly wives.
“You know, boys, my wife Judi is SO stupid. She went down to the store ‘tother day and bought an air-conditioner! Hell, boys, we ain’t got no ‘lectricity!”
The other two just howl with laughter.
Brian […]
Bitch Literal
Three guys are in a bar discussing how much their wives bitch at them. They decide that when they get home, they’ll do everything that the women ask.
The next weekend, they are in the same bar.
The first guy says “Man, I don’t think that our idea was so great! I was sitting on the couch […]
The Fishing Groom
A man and his newlywed check into a mountain resort by a lake. The desk clerk notices the “Just Married” sign still on the car. As soon as the man gets the luggage out of the car, he hops in a boat to go fishing.
He is out all day, comes back for a quick supper, […]
Baked Beans
Once there lived a man who had a passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they had a lively reaction on him. Then one day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, “she is such a sweet and gentle girl, she […]
How Many Kids?
Some newly married friends were visiting us when the topic of children came up. The bride said she wanted three children, while the young husband said two would be enough for him. They discussed this discrepancy for a few minutes until the husband thought he’d put an end to things by saying boldly, “After our […]
Fertile Celebration
While the bar patron savoured a double martini, an attractive women sat down next to him. The bartender served her a glass of orange juice, and the man turned to her and said, “This is a special day. I’m celebrating.”
“I’m celebrating, too,” she replied, clinking glasses with him.
“What are you celebrating?” he asked.
“For years I’ve […]
Bad Tooth
A man and his wife entered the dentist’s office.
“I want a toothpulled, “the man said. “We are in a big hurry, so let us not fool around with gas or Novocain or any of that stuff.”
“You are a very brave man,” remarked the dentist. “Which tooth is it?”
“Show him your bad tooth, honey,” said the […]
My Husband’s Home
A man came down with the flu and was forced to stay home one day. He was glad for the interlude because it taught him how much his wife loved him.
She was so thrilled to have him around that when a delivery man or the mailman arrived, she ran out and yelled,
“My husband’s home! My […]
Damaging Food
A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. “The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is […]
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