The Lawyer Jury

A trial had been scheduled in a small town, but the court clerk had forgotten to call in a jury panel. Rather than adjourning what he thought was an exceptionally simple case, the judge ordered his bailiff to go through the courthouse and round up enough people to form a jury. The bailiff returned with […]

August 18, 2006 | Filed Under Lawyer Jokes | Share your thoughts...

Surgery

As the lawyer woke up after surgery, he said” “Why are all the blinds drawn?”
The doctor answered: “There’s a big fire across the street, and we didn’t want you to think the operation was a failure.”

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August 15, 2006 | Filed Under Lawyer Jokes, Doctor | Share your thoughts...

Lock The Safe

Two law partners leave their office and go to lunch. In the middle of lunch the junior partner slaps his forehead.
“Damn,” he says. “I forgot to lock the office safe before we left.”
His partner replies ” What are you worried about? We’re both here.”

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August 13, 2006 | Filed Under Lawyer Jokes | Share your thoughts...

Lawyer One Liners

Q: What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
A tick falls off of you when you die.
Q: Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?
A: To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
Q: What do you call a lawyer who doesn’t chase ambulances?
A: Retired.
Q: How […]

August 6, 2006 | Filed Under Lawyer Jokes, One Liners | Share your thoughts...

Lawyer’s Appeal

Many years ago, a junior partner in a firm was sent to a far-away state to represent a long-term client accused of robbery. After days of trial, the case was won, the client acquitted and released. Excited about his success, the attorney telegraphed the firm: “Justice prevailed.” The senior partner replied in haste: “Appeal immediately.”

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August 5, 2006 | Filed Under Lawyer Jokes | Share your thoughts...

The Associate’s Vacation

For six years, the young attorney had worked incredibly long hours in his quest to make partner, and had taken only brief respites at a nearby country inn. During his last, brief visit, he had a moment of passion with the innkeeper’s daughter. Having done little but stare at the walls of his office since […]

August 4, 2006 | Filed Under Lawyer Jokes | Share your thoughts...

A Brief Affair

A young associate was romantically ambushed in a darkened room of the law firm. After months of the social isolation that comes from eighty hour work weeks, the associate was happy to reciprocate. However, when asked by a friend to identify the lover, the associate was puzzled.
“All I know for sure is that it was […]

August 3, 2006 | Filed Under Lawyer Jokes | Share your thoughts...

A Lawyer’s Priorities

Two lawyers were walking down Rodeo Drive, and saw a beatiful model walking towards them. “What a babe,” one said, “I’d sure like to fuck her!”
“Really?” the other responded, “Out of what?”

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August 2, 2006 | Filed Under Lawyer Jokes, Dirty Jokes | Share your thoughts...

Give Back My Glove

I did not kill my lovely wife.
I did not slash her with a knife.
I did not bonk her on the head.
I did not know that she was dead.
I stayed at home that fateful night.
I took a cab, then took a flight.
The bag I had was just for me.
My bag! My bag! Hey, leave it be.
When […]

July 28, 2006 | Filed Under Lawyer Jokes, Law Enforcement | Share your thoughts...