That’s Not Fair

A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil. As he passed sulfurous pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he recognized as a lawyer making love to a beautiful woman.
“That’s not fair,” he complained. “I face torment for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to spend it […]

August 30, 2006 | Filed Under Lawyer Jokes, Hell | Share your thoughts...

The Corruption Trial

At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. “Isn’t it true,” he bellowed, “that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?” The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn’t hear the question. The prosecutor again blared, “Isn’t it true that you accepted five thousand dollars […]

August 29, 2006 | Filed Under Lawyer Jokes | Share your thoughts...

The Brass Rat

A man, visiting San Francisco, noticed a musty curio shop, which seemed to be forgotten by time. It seemed very out of place in the busy city. The man’s curiosity was piqued, and he entered the shop. The store didn’t seem to have much traffic, and the shelves were full of dusty, but interesting items. […]

August 28, 2006 | Filed Under Lawyer Jokes | Share your thoughts...

Deer Tracks

Two lawyers were out hunting when they came upon a pair of tracks. They stopped and examined the tracks closely. The first lawyer announced, “Those are deer tracks. It’s deer season, so we should follow the tracks and find our prey.” The second lawyer responded,”Those are clearly elk tracks, and elk are out of season. […]

August 27, 2006 | Filed Under Animal, Lawyer Jokes | Share your thoughts...

Do You Serve Lawyers?

A man walked into a bar, leading an alligator by a leash. He asked the bartender, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Sure do,” said the bartender.
“Good,” replied the man. “Give me a beer, and I’ll have a lawyer for my ‘gator.”

Professional Courtesy

Did you hear about the lawyer on vacation whose sailboat capsized in dangerous, shark-infested waters? He surprised his traveling companions by volunteering to swim to the far-off shore for help. As he swam, his companions were startled by the appearance of two dorsal fins — great white sharks, heading straight toward the lawyer. To their […]

August 23, 2006 | Filed Under Lawyer Jokes | Share your thoughts...

Bear With Me

A very wealthy lawyer vacationed for several weeks each year at his summer home in the backwoods of Maine. Each summer, he would invite friends to come to visit him.
One summer he invited a lawyer from Czechoslovakia to visit him. The friend, eager to see how a wealthy American vacationed, gratefully agreed. They had a […]

August 22, 2006 | Filed Under Lawyer Jokes | Share your thoughts...

Do You Know Me?

At the start of an important trial, a small town attorney called his first witness to the stand. She seemed like a sweet, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”
She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy. You’ve […]

August 21, 2006 | Filed Under Lawyer Jokes | Share your thoughts...

Still A Virgin

“Father, how am I going to tell my husband that I am still a virgin?”
“My child, you have been a married woman for many years. You have had three husbands! Surely that cannot be.”
“Well, father, my first husband was a psychologist, and all he wanted to do was talk, and the next one was in […]

August 19, 2006 | Filed Under Lawyer Jokes | Share your thoughts...

Introductions

“You are a cheat!” shouted the attorney to his opponent.
“And you’re a liar!” bellowed the opposition.
Banging his gavel loudly, the judge interjected, “Now that both attorneys have been identified for the record, let’s get on with the case.”