Using the FBI
“Hello, is this the FBI?”
“Yes. What do you want?”
“I’m calling to report about my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood.”
“Thank you very much for the call, sir.”
The next day, the FBI agents descended on Billy Bob’s house. They searched the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they busted […]
I Have To Sleep With What?
Chicago sent its police chief, fire chief, and city attorney to a municipal management conference in Indiana. While driving through a rural area, their car broke down, and they sought assistance at a nearby farmhouse. The farmer told them that the local garage was closed, and that they were welcome to spend the night, but […]
Give Back My Glove
I did not kill my lovely wife.
I did not slash her with a knife.
I did not bonk her on the head.
I did not know that she was dead.
I stayed at home that fateful night.
I took a cab, then took a flight.
The bag I had was just for me.
My bag! My bag! Hey, leave it be.
When […]
The K9 Patrol
The police department, famous for its superior canine (K-9) unit, was somewhat taken back by a recent incident.
Returning home from work a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burgled. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels and a K9 unit patrolling […]
Tips to the Motorists
An Alberta policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn’t getting many.
Then he discovered the problem -
A 12-year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign, Which read “RADAR TRAP AHEAD”.
The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign reading, “TIPS” and a bucket full […]
Heading to the Ball?
A young woman was pulled over for speeding.
As the Saskatchewan R. C. M. P. Officer walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, “I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the R.C.M. P. Ball.”
“He replied, “Ma’am, Saskatchewan R. C. M. P. don’t have Balls.” There was a […]
22 Things To Never Say To A Cop
1. I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer.
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in.
3. Aren’t you that guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must have been doin’ at least 120 mph to keep up with me…Good job!
5. Excuse me…is stick up hyphenated?
6. I thought you had […]
Cop Stories
Good: A policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn’t getting many. Then he discovered the problem-a 10-year old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign which read “RADAR TRAP AHEAD.” The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign reading “TIPS” and a […]
The Smarter Sex
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it’s a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be […]
Getting Out of A Ticket
A man in his 40’s bought a new BMW and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up.
As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and […]
