Classic Hack
Here is a story about one of the classic computer hacks.
Back in the mid-1970s, several of the system support staff at Motorola discovered a relatively simple way to crack system security on the Xerox CP-V timesharing system. Through a simple programming strategy, it was possible for a user program to trick the system into running […]
Consultants
A man walks into a Silicon Valley pet store looking for a monkey. The storeowner points towards three identical looking monkeys in politically correct, animal-friendly natural mini-habitats.
“The one to the left costs $500,” says the storeowner.
“Why so much?” asks the customer.
“Because it can program in C,” answers the storeowner.
The customer inquires about the next […]
Consultants Commandments
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
He who hesitates is probably right.
Never do card tricks for the group you play […]
Browser Wars
WASHINGTON, D.C. (AP, Sept. 2, 2002) — Senate Majority Leader Ray Noorda (P-Utah) today demanded that the Department of Justice order Microsoft and Netscape to cease development of new Internet browsers, saying the ever-escalating battle for Internet dominance had sapped the American economy of its vitality.
In an impassioned speech before the Perotista-controlled Senate, Noorda, once […]
Endless Loop
A programmer had been missing from work for over a week when finally someone noticed and called the cops.
They went round to his flat and broke the door down. They found him dead in the still running shower with an empty bottle of shampoo next to his body. Apparently he’d been washing his hair.
The instructions […]
Engineer in Hell
An ENGINEER is standing outside the Pearly Gates. “Sorry”, Saint Peter tells him, “but you’re in the wrong place.” He snaps his fingers and the engineer finds himself in hell. Dissatisfied with the level of comfort there, the engineer starts making improvements.
One day, God phones Satan to ask how things are going.
“Great, […]
AOL Changes
Due to the recent merger of AOL and Time Warner, AOL members can soon expect the following changes:
* Time Magazine’s next “Man Of The Year” issue will feature Steve Case on the cover as the undisputed winner. This of course will strictly be a coincidence.
* The standard irritating AOL popups will be replaced by Warner […]
Bill Gates And God
Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and Bill Gates all died in a plane crash and went to meet their maker. The supreme deity turned to Al and asked, tell what is important about yourself.
Al responded that he felt that the earth was the ultimate importance and that protecting the earth’s ecological system was most important.
God looked […]
A Brief History Of Computers
Long ago, in the days when all disks flopped in the breeze and the writing of words was on a star, the Blue Giant dug for the people the Pea Sea. But he needed a creature who could sail the waters, and would need for support but few rams.
So the Gateskeeper, who was said to […]
A CD Player
While shopping for my first CD player, I was able to decipher most of the technicalese on the promotional signs. One designation had me puzzled, though, so I called over a salesperson and asked, “What does ‘hybrid pulse D/A converter’ mean?” “That means”, he said, “that this machine will read the digital information that is […]
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