Acquired Paint Shop Pro Syndrome
The Centre for Disease Control in Atlanta today announced the identification of a new disease.
Tentatively named Acquired Paint Shop Pro Syndrome, the disease is highly infectious. Scientists at CDC say the disease is caused by a bacillus called staphloaibrush because of its brush-like shape. Under the microscope the bacillus is long and slender with a […]
Buford Has Shingles
Doesn’t it seem that more and more physicians are running their practices like an assembly line. Here’s what happened to Buford…Buford walked INTO a doctor’s office and the receptionist asked him what hehad….. Buford said, “Shingles.” So she took down his name, address, medical insurance number and told himto have a seat. Fifteen minutes later […]
Vasectomy
After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough.
So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife/cousin did not want to have any more children.
The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem.
The doctor instructed him to go […]
Grand Delusions
When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the physiatrist began his therapy session, “I’m not aware of your problem,” the doctor said. “So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning.”
“Of course.” replied the patient. “In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth…”
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Confused People
In a psychiatrist’s waiting room two patients are having a conversation. One says to the other, “Why are you here?”
The second answers, “I’m Napoleon, so the doctor told me to come here.”
The first is curious and asks, “How do you know that you’re Napoleon?”
The second responds, “God told me I was.”
At this point, a patient […]
Surgery
As the lawyer woke up after surgery, he said” “Why are all the blinds drawn?”
The doctor answered: “There’s a big fire across the street, and we didn’t want you to think the operation was a failure.”
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Memory Test
Three elderly men are at the doctor’s office for a memory test. The doctor asks the first man, “What is three times three?” “274,” is his reply. The doctor rolls his eyes and looks up at the ceiling, and says to the second man, “It’s your turn. What is three times three?” “Tuesday,” replies the […]
Doctor and the Bee
One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love. All of a sudden a bumble bee entered the bedroom window. As the young lady parted her legs the bee entered her vagina. The woman started screaming, “Oh my god, help me, there’s a bee in my vagina!”.
The husband immediately took her […]
Druggist’s Bad Day
Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, “It’s the druggist - he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone.”
Immediately the husband drove downtown to accost the druggist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than […]
College Letters
A girl goes into the doctor’s office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red “H” on her chest. “How did you get that mark on your chest?” asks the doctor. “Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he’s so proud of it that he never takes off his Harvard […]
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