The Top 15 Euphemisms for Impotence
15. 180 degrees shy of heaven
14. Performing with Flaccido Domingo
13. A few parts shy of an erector set
12. Sch-wing and a miss
11. Not rising to the level of impeachable offense
10. The Null Monty
9. Disappointing Miss Daisy
8. Taking the gold at the Lake Flaccid Olympics
7. Ascension Deficit Disorder
6. Bouncing the Check of Love
5. Less-than-Magic Johnson
4. All […]
GEORGE CARLIN’S NEW RULES
New Rule : Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There’s a reason you don’t talk to people for 25 years. Because you don’t particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: ………..mowing my lawn.
New Rule: Don’t eat anything that’s served to you out […]
GUTS VS BALLS
We’ve all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between the two? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below
GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom , and […]
Best or Worst Tatto Ever - You Decide
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Three Kinds
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, there’s three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like […]
Oral Sex - An Ode To Love
Penis breath, a lover’s dread
Is what you get when you give head
Unpleasant as it tends to be
Be grateful that he doesn’t pee
It’s times like this, you wonder why
You bothered reaching for his fly
But it’s too late, can’t be a tease
Accept the facts, get on your knees
You know you’ve got a job to do
So open wide […]
A Man Known for His “Member”
A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr.
Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery.
Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!”I’m sorry Mr. Schwartz,” the mortician commented, “I can’t allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be […]
Twin Sisters…
There were these twin sisters just turning one hundred years old in St. Luke’s Nursing Home and the editor of the Cambridge Newspaper, told a photographer to get over there and take the pictures of these 100 year old twins.
One of the twins was hard of hearing and the other could hear quite well. The […]
A Little Boy
A little boy is waiting for his mum to come out of the changing room while shopping with her. The little boy gets bored and when his mum comes out, she finds him sliding his hand up a mannequin’s skirt.
“Get your hand out of there!” she shouts. “Don’t you know that women have teeth down […]
Don’t Lie to Mom
John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn’t help noticing how beautiful John’s roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate, and this only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if […]
