Jack & Jill
Jack & Jill
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marajuana.Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked, “Jill do you wanna?” Jill said yes, pulled up her dress,you know what happened next? Stupid Jill forgot the pill, then they had a son named Bill.
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Long Time Without Sex
Long Time Without Sex
One day a sweet little girl becomes puzzled about her origin.
“How did I gethere, Mommy?” she asks.
Her mother replies, using a well-worn phrase, “Why God sent you, Honey.”
“And did God send you too, Mommy?” she continues. “Yes, Sweetheart, he did.”
“And Daddy, and Grandma and Grandpa, and their moms and dads, too?”
“Yes, […]
Viagara Bed
Viagara Bed
A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandpa in the hospital.
“How are you grandpa? he asks.
“Feeling fine,” says the old man.
“What’s the food like?”
“Terrific, wonderful menus.”
“And the nursing?”
“Just couldn’t be better. These young nurses really take care of you.”
“What about sleeping? Do you sleep OK?”
“No problem at all nine hours solid every night. At […]
A Man’s Favorite Tool
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Cemetary Urinal
Two women decided to go out one evening, without their husbands,and more importantly — No Kids. Laughing the entire evening away and finding that they had consumed entirely too much wine, they decided it was time to head home.
They were about half way home when both ladies decided that they needed to find a bathroom […]
Rejected Nursey Rhymes
JACK AND JILL
Went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill Forgot the pill
And now they have a son.
MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Her father shot it dead
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two chunks of bread.
LITTLE MISS MUFFET
Sat on a tuffet,
Her clothes all tattered and torn.
It had not been the spider
that crept up beside […]
Bigger Means Dumber
A mother and father took their 6-year-old son to a nude beach. Asthe boy walked along the beach, he noticed that some of the ladies had boobs bigger than his mother’s, and asked her why. She told herson, “The bigger they are the dumber the person is.”
The boy pleased with the answer, goes to play […]
Hunting For Sex
Frank was excited about his new rifle and decided to try bear hunting. Hespotted a small brown bear and shot it. Right after, there was a tap on his shoulder and he turned around to see a big black bear. The black bear said, “That was my cousin and you’ve got two choices… Either I […]
Dirty Sex Pictures
A man goes to a Psychologist and says, “Doc I got a real problem, I can’t stop thinking about sex.”
The Psychologist says, “Well let’s see what we can find out”, and pulls out his ink blots. “What is this a picture of?” he asks.
The man turns the picture upside down then turns it around and […]
Hind Lick Maneuver
A woman goes into a restaurant in a small town out in the South. She orders the chicken and starts to eat. Eating too fast she starts to choke on a chicken bone.
Buford Buck’s 2 country boys in the next booth notice she is choking. So they get up and go over to help her. […]
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