A Few Words From Tech Support

1. Don’t write anything down. We can play back the error messages from here.
2. When a tech says he’s coming right over, go for coffee. It’s nothing to us to remember 481 screen saver passwords.
3. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of […]

November 15, 2007 | Filed Under Computer Jokes | Share your thoughts... 

50 Ways to Mess With People in a Computer Lab

1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream “Oh my God! They’ve found me!” and bolt.2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty […]

November 14, 2007 | Filed Under Computer Jokes | Share your thoughts... 

An artist, a lawyer, and a computer scientist

An artist, a lawyer, and a computer scientist are discussing the merits of a mistress. The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered. The lawyer warns of the difficulties. It can lead to guilt, divorce, bankruptcy. Not worth it. Too many problems. The computer scientist says “It’s […]

November 5, 2007 | Filed Under Computer Jokes, Geek | Share your thoughts... 

How To Be Annoying In Newsgroups

Make up fake acronyms. On-line veterans like to use abbreviations like IMHO (in my humble opinion) and RTFM (read the f…… manual) to show that they’re “hip” to the lingo. Make up your own that don’t stand for anything (SETO, BARL, CP30), use them liberally, and then refuse to explain what they stand for (”You […]

January 25, 2006 | Filed Under Computer Jokes, Stupid People | Share your thoughts... 

Microsoft vs. GM

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, “If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 mi/gal.”
Recently General Motors addressed this comment by releasing the statement,  “Yes, but would […]

December 29, 2005 | Filed Under Computer Jokes | Share your thoughts... 

12 Step Program Of Recovery For Web Addicts

1) I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my PAPER newspaper like I used to, before the Web.
2) I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing.
3) I will get dressed before noon.
4) I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, […]

December 28, 2005 | Filed Under Computer Jokes, Geek | Share your thoughts... 

Computer Terms

A language instructor was explaining to her class that French nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. Things like ‘chalk’ or ‘pencil,’ she described, would have a gender association although in English these words were neutral. Puzzled, one student raised his hand and asked, “What gender is a computer?” The […]

September 30, 2005 | Filed Under Computer Jokes, Men, Women | Share your thoughts... 

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