Can’t Make It
A blonde, brunette and a red-head were trapped on a island 20 miles from shore. The red-head started swimming and got tired after 2 miles and turned around and swam back. Then the brunette started to swim and after 7 miles of swimming she turned back. The blonde jumped in and swam 17 miles got […]
Hammer Heads
Two blondes were building a house. one saw that the other was going into her pouch and throwing every other nail out. She thought that this was weird and decided to look into.
“Why do you keep throwing every other nail away?”
“Well, when i pull one out of my pouch, and it is facing towards the […]
Pround Blonde Student
A girl came skipping home FROM school one day. “Mommy, Mommy,” she yelled, “we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!”
“Very good,” said her mother.
“Is it because I’m blonde, Mommy?”
“Yes, Honey, it’s because you’re […]
5 blondes
A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”
The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, […]
Parking the Car
A blonde walks into a bank in Toronto and asks for the Loans Officer.
She tells the Loans Officer that she is going on a business trip to Europe for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.00. The Loans Officer says that the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde […]
Blonde Murder Victim
WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the actual AP headline)
Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her inlaws, and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the […]
Blonde One Liners Continued
Q: What do you call a blonde in an institute for higher learning?
A: A visitor.
Q: What do you call an eternity?
A: Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.
Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.
Three Blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for […]
Blonde One Liners Continued
Q: Why did the blonde have square boobs?
A: She forgot to take the tissue out of the box.
Q: Whats an intelligent blonde?
A: A Golden Retreiver.
Q: What did they call the blonde that was found dead in the closet?
A: The 1994 Hide and Go Seek Champion.
Q: Why was the Blonde’s brain the size of a pea […]
Blonde One Liners
Did you hear about the blonde that put lipstick on her forehead so she could make up her mind?
Did you hear that they found another “Heaven Gates” cult member? Yea…it was a blonde and she was under the sink looking for the comet!
Did you hear about the blonde that threw away her weight loss video […]
Blonde Breathalizer Test
One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the driver was! Blue eyes, blonde, the works.
“I’ve pulled you over for […]
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