New State Slogans
Alabama:
Yes, We Have Electricity
Alaska:
11,623 Eskimos Can’t Be Wrong!
Arizona:
But It’s a Dry Heat
Arkansas:
Litterasy Ain’t Everthing
California:
By 30 Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda.
Colorado:
If You Don’t Ski, Don’t Bother
Connecticut:
Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedies Don’t Own It Yet.
Delaware:
We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water
Florida:
Ask Us About Our Grandkids
Georgia:
We Put The “Fun” In Fundamentalist Extremism
Hawaii:
Haka Tiki […]
How to Identify Where a Driver is From
1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: Chicago.
2. One hand on wheel, one finger out window: New York.
3. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: New Jersey.
4. One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston.
5. One hand on wheel, one hand […]
Dry Cleaning Monica’s Dress
Monica walks into her dry cleaning store and tells the guy, “I’ve got another dress for you to clean.” Slightly hard of hearing, the clerk replies, “Come again?” “No,” says Monica. “Mustard.”
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Why USA is in trouble
A Washington, D.C., airport ticket agent offers some examples of why our country is in trouble!
I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn’t get messed up by being near the window.
I got a call from a candidate’s staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to […]
A NUN TALE
A soldier came to a fork in the road and saw a nun standing there. He asked her, “Please Sister, may I hide under your skirts for a few minutes. I’ll explain WHY later.” The nun agreed to his request.
A short time later, two Military Police (MPs) came running along and asked if she had […]
Its NOT what you Eat
For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on
nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting
nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. […]
The Old Golfer
Moses, Jesus and an old man are golfing. Moses steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and lands in the water trap. Moses parts the water and chips the ball onto the green.
Jesus steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the […]
Iraq One Liners
Q. What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common?
A. They both want to know where all those Tomahawks are coming from!
Q: What is the best Iraqi job?
A: Foreign Ambassador.
Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots?
A. You only have to teach them to take off.
Q. How […]
Them Texans
The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had funded a project with the US auto makers for the past five years. The NTSB covertly funded a project whereby the auto makers were installing black boxes in four wheel drive pickup trucks in an effort to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last […]
Eleventh Commandment
Last week a very important meeting took place among God, the Pope and Moses. They were troubled because the President of the United States was behaving in an inappropriate manner and there were many people who saw nothing wrong in what he had done. They decided that the only course of action left was to […]
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Impotence Prostate
Gyro Recipe
Colon Cancer And Food
Stansted Valet Parking
Colorado Baby Adoption
