THE HOARTH WITHPERER
Bob calls his buddy Sam, the horse rancher, and says he’s sending a friend over to look at a horse.
Sam asks “How will I recognize him?”
“That’s easy, he’s a midget with a speech impediment.”
So, the midget shows up, and Sam asks him if he’s looking for a male or female horse.
“A female hoarth.”
So he shows […]
Jimmy the Aboriginal
A rich man living in Darwin decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbours. He also invited Jimmy, the only aboriginal in the neighbourhood.
He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.Everyone was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating prawns, oysters and BBQ […]
Animal Super Bowl
During the Super Bowl, there was another football game of note between the big animals and the little animals. The big animals were crushing little animals and at half-time, the coach made a passionate speech to rally the little animals.
At the start of the second half the big animals had the ball. The first play, […]
Horse And Chicken
A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found. So he drives the farmer’s […]
The Nonconformist Bird
There once was a nonconformist bird that decided not to fly south for the winter. He said “I’ve had enough of this flying south every winter, I’ll just stay right here on this farm, what’s the big deal, anyway?”
So he stayed. Winter came and was very cold, the nonconformist bird had never felt such cold […]
Fish and Cat Story
One spring day, a fish was swimming about a foot below the surface of a lake and saw a fly hovering just out of striking distance.
The fish said to itself, “If that fly comes six inches closer, I’ll jump up and have myself a meal.” Just then, a bear on the shore of the lake […]
Bear Advisory
The Forest Service has issued a BEAR WARNING in the national forests for this summer. They’re urging everyone to protect themselves by wearing bells and carrying pepper spray.
Campers should be alert for signs of fresh bear activity, and they should be able to tell the difference between Black Bear dung and Grizzy Bear dung.
Black Bear […]
Adopted Turtle
Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground.
The turtle tried again and again while a couple […]
Elephant WOMB
Four farmers were seated at the bar in a tavern. At the table next to them sat a young girl.
The first man said, “I think it’s WOOMB.” The second replied, “No, it must be WOOOOMBH.” The third said, “You both have it wrong — it’s WOOM.” The fourth stated, “No, it has to be WOOMMMMBBB.”
At […]
Three Dogs…and a Collie
The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bull dog are in a doggie bar having a drink when a very nice looking female Collie comes up to them and says, “Whoever can say ‘liver’ and ‘cheese’ in a sentence can be my topdog.” So the Doberman says, “I love liver and cheese.” The Collie […]
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