Deer Tracks
Two lawyers were out hunting when they came upon a pair of tracks. They stopped and examined the tracks closely. The first lawyer announced, “Those are deer tracks. It’s deer season, so we should follow the tracks and find our prey.” The second lawyer responded,”Those are clearly elk tracks, and elk are out of season. […]
Do You Serve Lawyers?
A man walked into a bar, leading an alligator by a leash. He asked the bartender, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Sure do,” said the bartender.
“Good,” replied the man. “Give me a beer, and I’ll have a lawyer for my ‘gator.”
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A Poor Choice of Snack
Two tigers were stalking through the jungles of Asia. Suddenly, the one to the rear reached out with his tongue, and licked the posterior of the tiger in front of him. The startled front tiger turned and said, “Cut it out.” The rear tiger apologized, and they continued onward.
About five minutes later, it happened again. […]
Purchasing A Turkey
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”
The stock boy replied, “No ma’am, they’re dead.”
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The Rabbit And Snake
A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the intersection. They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was at fault for the mishap.
When the snake remarked that he had been blind since birth, and thus should be given additional […]
No Dogs Allowed
A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says “You can’t bring that dog in here!” The guy, without missing a beat, says “This is my seeing-eye dog.” “Oh man, ” the bartender says, “I’m sorry, here, the first one’s on […]
Two Bear Hunters
Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could.
He ran pretty […]
Cow Tail
A foursome was on the last hole and when the last golfer drove off the tee he hooked into a cow pasture. He advised his friends to play through and he would meet them at the clubhouse. They followed the plan and waited for their friend.
After a considerable time he appeared disheveled, bloody, and badly […]
The K9 Patrol
The police department, famous for its superior canine (K-9) unit, was somewhat taken back by a recent incident.
Returning home from work a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burgled. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels and a K9 unit patrolling […]
Non-seeing Eye Dog
A blind man was seen waiting at a street corner with his guide dog. After a short wait the dog started leading the blind man across the street against the red light.
First a car comes screeching to a halt inches away from him, but still the dog leads on, then a bicyclist almost wipes them […]
