An Airliner

At a recent software engineering management course in the US, the participants were given an awkward question to answer. “If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control software how many of you would disembark immediately?”
Among the ensuing forest of raised hands, only […]

November 13, 2007 | Filed Under Airline Jokes | Share your thoughts... 

Pilot One Liners

Q: What is the ideal cockpit crew?
A: A pilot and a dog…the pilot is there to feed the dog, and the dog is there to bite the pilot in case he tries to touch anything.
Q: How many pilots does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Just one. He holds the bulb and the world […]

July 7, 2006 | Filed Under Airline Jokes, One Liners | Share your thoughts... 

Aerial Photos

A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to take pictures of a great forest fire. He was advised that a small plane would be waiting to fly him over the fire.

The photographer arrived at the airstrip just an hour before sundown. Sure enough, a small Cessna airplane was waiting. He jumped in with his […]

June 29, 2006 | Filed Under Airline Jokes | Share your thoughts... 

Classic Tower Conversations

“Air Force ‘45, it appears your engine has…oh, disregard…I see you’ve already ejected.”
“Citation 123, if you quit calling me Center, I’ll quit calling you twin Cessna.”
“About three miles ahead, you’ve got traffic 12 o’clock, five miles.”
“If you hear me, traffic no longer a factor.”
“I am way too busy for anybody to cancel on me.”
“You’re gonna […]

June 26, 2006 | Filed Under Airline Jokes | Share your thoughts... 

The 33 Greatest Lies in Aviation

1. I’m from the FAA and I’m here to help you.
2. Me? I’ve never busted minimums.
3. We will be on time, maybe even early.
4. Pardon me, ma’am, I seem to have lost my jet keys.
5 .I have no interest in flying for the airlines.
6. I fixed it right the first time, it must have failed […]

June 23, 2006 | Filed Under Airline Jokes | Share your thoughts... 

Aviation Sayings

A fiberglass port-a-potty at Oshkosh with the message “I could have been a Glassair!” written on it?
“I would like to die in my sleep like my father did, not in screaming terror, like his passengers.”
If God had meant man to fly, He would have given him more money or airplane tickets.
“Gravity always wins!”
You know you´re […]

June 22, 2006 | Filed Under Airline Jokes, One Liners | Share your thoughts... 

Blind Pilots

One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated waiting for the pilot to show up so they can get under way.
The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind; the […]

June 18, 2006 | Filed Under Airline Jokes, Blind | Share your thoughts... 

Airline Safety

Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the “in-flight  safety lecture” and their other anouncements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane…”
After landing: “Thank you for flying Delta […]

January 2, 2006 | Filed Under Airline Jokes | Share your thoughts... 

Close
E-mail It