Email Mistakes

It’s wise to remember how easily email — this wonderful technology — can be misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences.
Consider the case of the Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. […]

November 30, 2007 | Filed Under Computer Jokes, Internet | Share your thoughts...

Classic Hack

Here is a story about one of the classic computer hacks.
Back in the mid-1970s, several of the system support staff at Motorola discovered a relatively simple way to crack system security on the Xerox CP-V timesharing system. Through a simple programming strategy, it was possible for a user program to trick the system into running […]

November 29, 2007 | Filed Under Computer Jokes, Geek | Share your thoughts...

Consultants

A man walks into a Silicon Valley pet store looking for a monkey. The storeowner points towards three identical looking monkeys in politically correct, animal-friendly natural mini-habitats.
“The one to the left costs $500,” says the storeowner.

“Why so much?” asks the customer.
“Because it can program in C,” answers the storeowner.
The customer inquires about the next […]

November 28, 2007 | Filed Under Geek | Share your thoughts...

Consultants Commandments

If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
He who hesitates is probably right.
Never do card tricks for the group you play […]

November 27, 2007 | Filed Under Geek | Share your thoughts...

Care And Feeding Of Your Computer

I’ve been working on a project at work to ensure all our end users know how to back up data in preparation for company wide computer upgrades. I’m tempted to hand this out to some of our users.
1. Never leave diskettes in the disk drive, as data can leak out of the disk and corrode […]

November 26, 2007 | Filed Under Computer Jokes | Share your thoughts...

Blue Screen of Death

In a surprise announcement today, Microsoft President Steve Ballmer revealed that the Redmond-based company will allow computer resellers and end-users to customize the appearance of the Blue Screen of Death (BSOD), the screen that displays when the Windows operating system crashes.
The move comes as the result of numerous focus groups and customer surveys done by […]

November 25, 2007 | Filed Under Microsoft | Share your thoughts...

Browser Wars

WASHINGTON, D.C. (AP, Sept. 2, 2002) — Senate Majority Leader Ray Noorda (P-Utah) today demanded that the Department of Justice order Microsoft and Netscape to cease development of new Internet browsers, saying the ever-escalating battle for Internet dominance had sapped the American economy of its vitality.
In an impassioned speech before the Perotista-controlled Senate, Noorda, once […]

November 24, 2007 | Filed Under Computer Jokes, Geek, Real Life | Share your thoughts...

Endless Loop

A programmer had been missing from work for over a week when finally someone noticed and called the cops.
They went round to his flat and broke the door down. They found him dead in the still running shower with an empty bottle of shampoo next to his body. Apparently he’d been washing his hair.
The instructions […]

November 23, 2007 | Filed Under Computer Jokes, Geek, Programmer | Share your thoughts...

Program

PROGRAM (pro’-gram)
[n] A magic spell cast over a computer allowing it to turn one’s input into error messages.
[vi] To engage in a pastime similar to banging one’s head against a wall, but with fewer opportunities for reward.
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November 22, 2007 | Filed Under Computer Jokes, One Liners | Share your thoughts...

Programmers’ Wisdom

Every program has at least one bug and can be shortened by at least one instruction — from which, by induction, one can deduce that every program can be reduced to one instruction which doesn’t work.