A Man’s Favorite Tool
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Give Bubba a Chance
It was graduation night at Cox High School and they were about halfway through the ceremony when the principal said, “Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a problem, Bubba is a few credits short and won’t be able to graduate tonight.”
Well now, Bubba was the starting right guard for Cox’s football team, and when the student […]
Trigonometry
A hillbilly was going to send his boy to school and was discussing with the principal what courses he should take.
The principal was talking about math courses and suggested he would probably later on take geometry and trigonometry.
The hillbilly heard this and said “Great! Be sure and give him lot’s of that there triggernometry! He’s […]
Cemetary Urinal
Two women decided to go out one evening, without their husbands,and more importantly — No Kids. Laughing the entire evening away and finding that they had consumed entirely too much wine, they decided it was time to head home.
They were about half way home when both ladies decided that they needed to find a bathroom […]
Pround Blonde Student
A girl came skipping home FROM school one day. “Mommy, Mommy,” she yelled, “we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!”
“Very good,” said her mother.
“Is it because I’m blonde, Mommy?”
“Yes, Honey, it’s because you’re […]
Rejected Nursey Rhymes
JACK AND JILL
Went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill Forgot the pill
And now they have a son.
MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Her father shot it dead
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two chunks of bread.
LITTLE MISS MUFFET
Sat on a tuffet,
Her clothes all tattered and torn.
It had not been the spider
that crept up beside […]
Buford Has Shingles
Doesn’t it seem that more and more physicians are running their practices like an assembly line. Here’s what happened to Buford…Buford walked INTO a doctor’s office and the receptionist asked him what hehad….. Buford said, “Shingles.” So she took down his name, address, medical insurance number and told himto have a seat. Fifteen minutes later […]
Interesting and Funny Signs
On a Septic Tank Truck sign:
“We’re #1 in the #2 business.”
Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office:
“Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”
At a Proctologist’s door
“To expedite your visit please back in.”
On a Plumber’s truck:
“We REPAIR what your husband fixed.”
On a Plumber’s truck:
“Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”
Pizza Shop Slogan:
“7 days without pizza makes one weak.”
At a […]
Bigger Means Dumber
A mother and father took their 6-year-old son to a nude beach. Asthe boy walked along the beach, he noticed that some of the ladies had boobs bigger than his mother’s, and asked her why. She told herson, “The bigger they are the dumber the person is.”
The boy pleased with the answer, goes to play […]
Using the FBI
“Hello, is this the FBI?”
“Yes. What do you want?”
“I’m calling to report about my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood.”
“Thank you very much for the call, sir.”
The next day, the FBI agents descended on Billy Bob’s house. They searched the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they busted […]
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Amazing Breakthrough Diabetes
Breast Enhancer Inserts
Bowel Perforation
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