The World’s Shortest Books

25.  My Plan To Find The Real Killers By O.J. Simpson
24.  The Catholic Guide To Great Sex
23.  To All The Men I’ve Loved Before By Ellen Degeneres
22.  The Difference Between Reality And Dilbert
21.  Human Rights Advances In China
20.  Things I Would Not Do For Money By Dennis Rodman
19.  The Wild Years By Al Gore

18.  Amelia […]

Things That Sound Dirty At Thanksgiving, But Aren’t

“Whew, that’s one terrific spread!”
“I’m in the mood for a little dark meat.”
“Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.”
“Talk about a huge breast!”
“It’s Cool Whip time!”
“If I don’t undo my pants, I’ll burst!”
“Are you ready for seconds yet?”
“Are you going to come again next time?”
“It’s a little dry, do you still want to eat […]

You Know You’re Too Stressed If…

…relatives that have been dead for years come visit you and suggest that you should get some rest.
…you can achieve a “Runners High” by sitting up.
…you say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.
…the Sun is too loud.
…trees begin chasing you.
…you can see individual air molecules vibrating.
…you […]

Jesus and the Hotel

Jesus walks into a hotel with a hand full of nails. He puts them on the counter and says to the receptionist, “Can you put me up for the night?”

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Consequences Of Sex

Down in the valley where the green grass grows
There lives a girl who wears no clothes
Then came Tarzan clipatty-clop
His cock was always on the hop
He gave here a Shilling but she was not willing
He gave her Pound she laid on the ground
He gave her a smack she opened her crack
And in went the union’s jack
3 […]

Redneck Hero

Two boys are playing football in the Golden Gate Park when one  is attacked by a Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog’s collar and twists, breaking the dog’s neck. A reporter who is  strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to […]

Get A Little Head

There was ounce this man who used to go this bar at the end of the street everynight. One day this guy went he saw this enourmus man with all these musceles but with this puny head. After stairing at the guy for over 5 hours he decided to go ask how this happened. He […]

Wisdom Of Supermodels

ON COURAGE
“They were doing a full back shot of me in a swimsuit and I thought,  Oh my God, I have to be so brave.  See, every woman hates herself from behind.”
-Cindy Crawford
ON POVERTY
“Everyone should have enough money to get plastic surgery.”
-Beverly Johnson
ON FATE
“I wish my butt did not go sideways, but I guess I […]

One Mean Preacher

Once there was this truck driver who loved to hit people on the side of the road. One day the truck driver saw a preacher on the side of the road and decided to pick him up. As he was driving along the road he seen somebody and thought to himself. Man I have not […]

I Love This Country, But…

1. Only in America……can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America……are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America……do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at […]

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