Probability of Winning an Arguement with a Woman

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April 10, 2006 | Filed Under Marriage, Dating, Men, Women | Share your thoughts... 

Headlines

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Include Your Children when Baking Cookies
Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash […]

April 9, 2006 | Filed Under Real Life | Share your thoughts... 

Actual Label Instructions On Consumer Goods

On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.

On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.
On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert:(printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down.
On Marks & Spencer […]

April 8, 2006 | Filed Under Stupid People, Real Life | Share your thoughts... 

The Top 15 Euphemisms for Impotence

15.  180 degrees shy of heaven
14.  Performing with Flaccido Domingo
13.  A few parts shy of an erector set
12.  Sch-wing and a miss
11.  Not rising to the level of impeachable offense
10.  The Null Monty
9.   Disappointing Miss Daisy
8.   Taking the gold at the Lake Flaccid Olympics
7.   Ascension Deficit Disorder
6.   Bouncing the Check of Love
5.   Less-than-Magic Johnson
4.   All […]

April 7, 2006 | Filed Under Dirty Jokes, Top 10 | Share your thoughts... 

Dry Cleaning Monica’s Dress

Monica walks into her dry cleaning store and tells the guy, “I’ve got another dress for you to clean.” Slightly hard of hearing, the clerk replies, “Come again?” “No,” says Monica. “Mustard.”

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April 6, 2006 | Filed Under Being American | Share your thoughts... 

The Difference Between Men and Women

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April 5, 2006 | Filed Under Men, Women | Share your thoughts... 

GEORGE CARLIN’S NEW RULES

New Rule : Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There’s a reason you don’t talk to people for 25 years. Because you don’t particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: ………..mowing my lawn.
New Rule: Don’t eat anything that’s served to you out […]

April 4, 2006 | Filed Under Dirty Jokes, Stupid People | Share your thoughts... 

The Sentence

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.
She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at […]

April 3, 2006 | Filed Under Married, Marriage, Dating | Share your thoughts... 

Good Mood

My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my  moods. We’ve discovered that when I’m in a good mood, it turns green. When  I’m in a bad mood, it leaves a big fucking red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he’ll […]

April 2, 2006 | Filed Under Married, Marriage | Share your thoughts... 

Some of the New Condoms on the Market

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April 1, 2006 | Filed Under Funny Pictures | Share your thoughts... 

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