Math Proof of women
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Gore’s and Hillary’s Revenge
Bill Clinton steps out onto the White House lawn in the dead of winter. Right in front of him, on the White House lawn, he sees “The President Must Go” written in urine across the snow. Well, old Bill is pretty ticked off. He storms into his security staff`s HQ, and yells “Somebody wrote a […]
Viagra Jokes
Q. What is the generic name for Viagra?
A. Mycoxafillin….
Q. How can you tell if a man hasn’t been taking his Viagra?
A. It’s not hard.
Q. Did you hear that they put Viagra in a candy bar?
A. It’s called “Oh, Henry!”
Q. What do you get when you mix Viagra and Rogain?
A. Don King
Q. What happens when you […]
Santa’s New Contract For 2000
A new contract for Santa has been negotiated…Please read the following carefully.
I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer be able to serve the Southern United States on Christmas Eve. Due to the overwhelming current population of the Earth, my contract was re-negotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. […]
New State Slogans
Alabama:
Yes, We Have Electricity
Alaska:
11,623 Eskimos Can’t Be Wrong!
Arizona:
But It’s a Dry Heat
Arkansas:
Litterasy Ain’t Everthing
California:
By 30 Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda.
Colorado:
If You Don’t Ski, Don’t Bother
Connecticut:
Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedies Don’t Own It Yet.
Delaware:
We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water
Florida:
Ask Us About Our Grandkids
Georgia:
We Put The “Fun” In Fundamentalist Extremism
Hawaii:
Haka Tiki […]
WHIMIS Sheet for Women
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Useful Work Phrases
1. Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
2. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
3. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
4. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
5. I have plenty of talent […]
How to Identify Where a Driver is From
1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: Chicago.
2. One hand on wheel, one finger out window: New York.
3. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: New Jersey.
4. One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston.
5. One hand on wheel, one hand […]
You’re stuck between the Baby Boomers and Generations X’ers if:
1. You remember when Jordache jeans with a flat handle comb in the back pocket was cool.
2. In your class picture you were wearing an Izod shirt with the collar up.
3. You know by heart the words to any Weird Al Yankovic song (Just eat it, eat it, don’t make me repeat it…)
4. You ever […]
Rejected Hallmark Greetings
So your daughter’s a hooker,
and it spoiled your day…
Look at the bright side,
she’s a really good lay.
My tire was thumping….
I thought it was flat….
when I looked at the tire….
I noticed your cat… Sorry
You had your bladder removed
and you’re on the mends….
here’s a bouquet of flowers
and a box of Depends.
You’ve announced that you’re gay,
won’t that be […]
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