How to Identify Where a Driver is From

1.  One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: Chicago.

2.  One hand on wheel, one finger out window: New York.

3.  One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic:   New Jersey.

4.  One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on  accelerator:  Boston.

5.  One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, with gun in lap:  Los Angeles.

6.  Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake,  quivering in terror: Ohio, but driving in California.

7.  Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat:  Italy.

8.  One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game: Seattle.

9.  One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both feet on brake, throwing McDonald’s bag out the window: Texas.

10.  Four-wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: West Virginia.

11.  Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible  above windshield, driving 35 on the Interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on: Florida.

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April 13, 2006 | Filed Under Being American, Top 10 

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