Have a beer!
I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.
–Frank Sinatra
The problem with some people is that when they aren’t drunk, they’re sober.
–William Butler Yeats
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
–Ernest Hemingway
Always […]
Clinton The Story Teller
While the Clintons were still in the Governor’s Mansion in Arkansas, one night Chelsea came in to the bedroom and said, “Mommy, tell me a story please!” Hillary said, “It’s 3:00 am, honey, can’t you just go to bed?” Chelsea answered, “I tried, Mommy, but I can’t sleep… please tell me a story.” Hillary thought […]
Top 100 Indications That You Are From South Jersey
100. You’ve had arguments over cheesesteak quality.
99. When it snows more than an inch, you call it a blizzard.
98. Your neighbor’s house was forclosed after an unlucky night in Atlantic City.
97. You know someone named Siprasiut Xayapachan.
96. You’ve actually found the Echelon Mall.
95. Your uncle is in the mafia.
94. You have Lyme Disease.
93. You don’t […]
Monica Lewinsky Buys Condoms
Monica went up to the pharmacist and stated, “I need to buy condoms.” The pharmacist looked up and asked, “Shall I put it on your bill?” “No, thanks,” Monica responded. “I prefer to put them on him myself.”
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Sources of N.J. Pride
You watched “Mallrats” and said “I’ve been to that mall!”
At least half the people you knew in high school went to Rutgers.
You know where Jimmy Hoffa is buried.
Your big class trip in elementary school was to Morristown.
You long for the days when the Devils wore Christmas colors.
You know that the only people that call it […]
Comparison of the Shopping routine
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38 Kinder, Gentler Ways to Say Someone is Stupid
1. A few clowns short of a circus
2. A few fries short of a Happy Meal
3. An experiement in artifical stupidity
4. A few beers short of a six-pack
5. Dumber than a box of hair
6. A few peas short of a casserole
7. Doesn’t have all his cornflakes in one box
8. The wheel’s spinning but the hamster’s […]
The Legend Of Angels Atop Trees
Santa was very cross. It was Christmas Eve and NOTHING was going right. Mrs Claus had burned all the cookies. The elves were complaining about not getting paid for the overtime they had put in while making the toys. The reindeer had been drinking all afternoon and were dead drunk. To make matters worse, they […]
You Might Be A Redneck Jedi Knight If…
You ever uttered the phrase, “May the force be with y’all.”
Your Jedi robe is camouflage.
You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill.
At least one wing of your X-wing is primer colored.
You have bantha horns on the front of […]
Mergers
Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W.R. Grace Company merge to become Hale Mary Fuller Grace.
Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler Crackers merge to become Polly-Warner-Cracker.
3M and Goodyear merge to become MMMGood.
John Deere and Abitibi-Price merge to become Deere Abi.
Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining merge to become Zip Audi […]
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