Oral Sex - An Ode To Love
Penis breath, a lover’s dread
Is what you get when you give head
Unpleasant as it tends to be
Be grateful that he doesn’t pee
It’s times like this, you wonder why
You bothered reaching for his fly
But it’s too late, can’t be a tease
Accept the facts, get on your knees
You know you’ve got a job to do
So open wide […]
DATING RITUALS
WHITE WOMEN
First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.
Third date: You get to have sex, but only in the missionary position.
IRISH WOMEN
First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary: You both get blind […]
A NUN TALE
A soldier came to a fork in the road and saw a nun standing there. He asked her, “Please Sister, may I hide under your skirts for a few minutes. I’ll explain WHY later.” The nun agreed to his request.
A short time later, two Military Police (MPs) came running along and asked if she had […]
THE HOARTH WITHPERER
Bob calls his buddy Sam, the horse rancher, and says he’s sending a friend over to look at a horse.
Sam asks “How will I recognize him?”
“That’s easy, he’s a midget with a speech impediment.”
So, the midget shows up, and Sam asks him if he’s looking for a male or female horse.
“A female hoarth.”
So he shows […]
You Can’t Hide From Women
Jake was dying.
His wife sat at the bedside. He looked up and said weakly: “I have something I must confess.”
“There’s no need to, ” his wife replied.
“No,” he insisted, “I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!”
“I know,” she replied, […]
The Owner of The Bar
A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.
“Certainly, Sir , that’ll be one cent.” “One Cent?” the man exclaimed. He glanced at the menu and asked: “How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?” “A nickel,” the barman replied. “A nickel?” exclaimed the […]
Men and Their Golf
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon.
Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.
The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes Outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He […]
Your Daughters?
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified […]
A Man Known for His “Member”
A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr.
Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery.
Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!”I’m sorry Mr. Schwartz,” the mortician commented, “I can’t allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be […]
The Statue
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. “Hurry,” she said, “stand in the corner.” She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder. “Don’t move until I tell you,” she said, ” pretend you’re a statue.”
“What’s this?” the […]
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