Doctor and the Bee
One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love. All of a sudden a bumble bee entered the bedroom window. As the young lady parted her legs the bee entered her vagina. The woman started screaming, “Oh my god, help me, there’s a bee in my vagina!”.
The husband immediately took her […]
Why Star Wars Is Better Than Real Life
In real life, people drive “the Pacer”, “the Pinto”, and “the Station Wagon;” In Star Wars, people drive “Speeder Bikes”, “X-wing fighters”, and “the Millennium Falcon.”
In real life, bar fights with strange looking people are often looked at as bad and sinful; In Star Wars, bar fights with strange looking creatures is heroic and the […]
Dress Of Love
An old woman went to visit her daughter and she found her naked, waiting for her husband.
The mother asks the daughter: “what are you doing naked?” The daughter responds:”This is the dress of love.”
When the mother returns home, She strips naked and waits for her husband.
When her husband arrives, he asks her: “what are you […]
Drink ‘Till She’s Cute
A man stopped at his favorite watering hole after a hard days work to relax. He noticed a man next to him ordered a shot and a beer. The man drank the shot, chased it with the beer and then looked into his shirt pocket. This continued several times before the man’s curiosity got the […]
Dead Hick
Emily Sue passed away and Billy-Bob called 911. The 911 Operator told Billy-Bob that she would send someone out right away.
“Where do you live?” asked the operator.
Billy-Bob replied, “At the end of Eucalyptus Drive.”
The operator asked, “Can you spell that for me?”
There was a long pause and finally Billy-Bob said, “How ’bout if I drag […]
Lines You Always Wanted to Hear In a Star Wars Film
Luke: Hey, what happened to Biggs? I could have sworn he was here a minute ago…
Random Imperial Trooper: Emperor Palpatine? Here’s that wrinkle cream you asked for, sir…
R2D2 : Anything coherent
Han : Okay, I admit it. It’s all my fault.
Luke: You’re kinda cute…can I buy you a drink?
Luke: (trying to impress girl) Wanna see some […]
Druggist’s Bad Day
Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, “It’s the druggist - he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone.”
Immediately the husband drove downtown to accost the druggist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than […]
Dying Confession
Becky was on her deathbed with her husband, John, maintaining a steady vigil by her side. As he held her fragile hand, his warm tears ran silently down his face, splashed onto her face, and roused her from her slumber. She looked up and her pale lips began to move slightly. “My darling John,” she […]
Ed Zachary Disease
A woman was very despondent over not having sex in quite some time. She was becoming agitated and worried that she might never find a mate. In hopes of finding a solution to her problem, she decided that it was time to see a doctor. Looking thru the phone book, she came upon a Chinese […]
Things You’ll Never Hear Darth Vader Say
If this is a consular ship, could you please tell the ambassador to come out of hiding so we could discuss this like civilized beings?
Has anyone seen my inhaler?
Impressive…most impressive. Can you do that again?
You should not have come back. But, since you’re here, let’s shake hands and call it even.
But I was going into […]
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