Bubba’s Buttholes
Bubba died in a fire and was burnt pretty bad and the morgue needed someone to identify the body. So his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer,were sent for. Daryl went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Daryl said, “Yup, he’s burnt pretty bad. Roll him over.” So the mortician rolled him over […]
Crashing Supermodels
Naomi Campbell, Claudia Schiffer, and Cindy Crawford are flying to a super models conference in Paris, when the captain of the plane announces: “We have just lost power to the engines and are going to make an emergency crash landing - assume the brace position immediately!”
Immediately the three models start preparing for the worst. Claudia […]
Custer’s Last Thoughts
An eccentric billionaire wanted a mural painted on his library wall, so he called in an artist. Describing what he wanted, the billionaire said, “I am a history buff, and I would like your interpretation of the last thing that went through Custer’s mind before he died. I am going out of town on business […]
Top Ten Ways to Know You Bought A Second-Rate Death Star
1. It has a central exhaust port just below the main port.
2. It is not a fully armed and operational battle station.
3. It won’t go into hyperspace unless you yell, ‘Engage!’
4. It has the ability to destroy a planet, but it is still insignificant next to the power of the force.
5. It was designed by […]
Blonde Breathalizer Test
One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the driver was! Blue eyes, blonde, the works.
“I’ve pulled you over for […]
She Was So Blond…
…she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said “concentrate”.
…she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
…she got stabbed in a shoot-out.
…she told me to meet her at the corner of “WALK” and “DONT WALK”.
…she thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.
…she tried to put […]
The Smarter Sex
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it’s a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be […]
The Twist
It’s the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date. He’s a pretty hip guy with his own car. When he goes to the front door, the girl’s father answers and invites him in.
“Carrie’s not ready yet, so why don’t you have a seat?” he says.
“That’s cool,” says Bobby.
Carrie’s father asks Bobby […]
Three Dogs…and a Collie
The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bull dog are in a doggie bar having a drink when a very nice looking female Collie comes up to them and says, “Whoever can say ‘liver’ and ‘cheese’ in a sentence can be my topdog.” So the Doberman says, “I love liver and cheese.” The Collie […]
Tragedy in Texas
TRAGEDY STRIKES IN COLLEGE STATION, TEXAS
AP Newswire
Tragedy occurred today in College Station, Texas when a Cessna 152 piloted by two Texas A&M graduate students crashed into a cemetery on their final approach to the College Station airport. At last report over three hundred bodies had been recovered by Texas A&M’s crack search and rescue team. […]
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Impotence Prostate
Despedidas Soltero Madrid
Key West Snorkeling
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