Computer Terms
A language instructor was explaining to her class that French nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. Things like ‘chalk’ or ‘pencil,’ she described, would have a gender association although in English these words were neutral. Puzzled, one student raised his hand and asked, “What gender is a computer?” The […]
Top Twenty Star Wars Related Famous Last Words
1. “Aw, look captain! A cute furry animal!”
2. “I am fluent in over six mil…”
3. “No, sorry. You JUST missed the last Kenner figure.”
4. “You seen that Vader guy’s liver spots? Eeew!”
5. To Lando: “Hiya master!”
6. “There’s a nice, big open cave in that asteroid right over there…”
7. “Emperor my butt!”
8. “Boba Fett? What a […]
The Butcher Dance
A guy has spent five years traveling all around the world making a documentary on Native dances. At the end of this time, he has every single native dance of every indigenous culture in the world on film. He winds up in Australia, in Alice Springs, so he pops into a pub for a well […]
Car Accident
A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend. She was thrilled at the speed. “If I do 200mph, will you take off your clothes?” he asked. “Yes!” said his adventurous girlfriend. And as he gets up to 200, she peels off all her clothes. Unable to keep his eyes on […]
Top 10 Reasons Anakin Skywalker Went to the Dark Side
1. Wanted cool voice like James Earl Jones’
2. Owed money to Jabba the Hutt, could refinance debt through the Empire
3. Wanted to use the Force to prop up Chrysler stock
4. Charmed by Emporer Palpatine’s seductive after-shave
5. Misunderstood name, thought the “Dirk Side” was fan club for pretty-boy actor Dirk Benedict
6. Kicked in head by bantha
7. […]
Clever Midget
A guy is standing at a urinal when he notices that he is being watched by a midget. Although the little fellow is staring at him intently, the guy doesn’t get uncomfortable until the midget drags a small stepladder up next to him, climbs it, and proceeds to admire his privates at close range. “Wow,” […]
College Letters
A girl goes into the doctor’s office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red “H” on her chest. “How did you get that mark on your chest?” asks the doctor. “Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he’s so proud of it that he never takes off his Harvard […]
Complete Coverage
Two men are in a doctor’s office. Each of them are to get a vasectomy…the nurse comes into the room & tells both men “Strip & put on these gowns before going in to see the doctor to have your procedures done.” A few minutes later she returns & reaches into one man’s gown & […]
Top Ten Reasons Han Won’t Let Chewie Take The Falcon For A Spin
1. Chewie insists on putting ‘Don’t Like My Driving? Call 1-800-EAT-FODDER’ on the back of the Falcon.
2. Han stopped letting Chewie take the controls after nasty encounter with bounty hunter at Ord Mantel when Chewie flipped him the bird.
3. Friends don’t let friends fly when they’re in heat.
4. Chewie always puts the deep-space communications bandwidth […]
Cop Stories
Good: A policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn’t getting many. Then he discovered the problem-a 10-year old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign which read “RADAR TRAP AHEAD.” The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign reading “TIPS” and a […]
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