A Blonde Finally Wins
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY.The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch […]
Shooting The Bull
Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally, they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic female moose costume and learned the mating call of a female moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull. […]
Should Have Quit
A man is waiting for wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, the […]
Smart-Ass Cop
Two guys are driving through Alabama when they get pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper walks up, taps on the window with his nightstick, the driver rolls down the window, and the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver says, “Why’d you do that?”
The trooper says, “You’re in Alabama, […]
Smart Irishman
An Irishman named Murphy went to his doctor after a long illness. The doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked Murphy in the eye and said, “I’ve some bad news for you… you have cancer and it can’t be cured. I’d give you two weeks to a month.” Murphy, shocked and saddened by the […]
Smoking
A young couple had been married for a couple of weeks, and the man was always after his wife to quit smoking.
One afternoon, she lit up after some lovemaking, and he said, “You really ought to quit.”
She, getting tired of his nagging, said, “I really enjoy a good cigarette after sex.”
He replied, “But they stunt […]
Boat Ride
A young woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier crying. He took pity on her and […]
Speech Impediment
Over drinks one afternoon a buddy of mine and I were discussing former “loves”. I told him that I once broke-up with a girl long ago because she had a seemingly incurable speech impediment.
George said, “Jimmy, I’m shocked. I never know you to be one to be prejudiced against handicaps. What was the girl’s problem?”
Taking […]
Stern Sibling
An old county doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out that there was no electricity.
When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her five-year-old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see while […]
Storks
Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. “Don’t worry, son. Your mother will come back. She’s only bringing people babies and making them happy.”
The next night, it’s father’s turn to do the job. Mother […]
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