And God Created Man
And God created woman.
She had two arms, two legs and three breasts.
And it was good.
And God asked woman what she would like changed about herself.
And she asked for her middle breast to be removed.
And it was good.
She stood with her third breast in her hand and asked God what should be done with the useless […]
Gas Grill
A couple had been married 15 years. One afternoon they were working in thegarden together.
As the wife was bending over pulling weeds the husband said, “Hey honey, you are getting fat. Your butt is getting huge. I bet it’s as big as the gas grill now.”
The husband feeling he needed to prove his point, got […]
Genie In The Lamp
A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled upon an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said “OK. OK. You released me from the lamp, blah, blah, blah. This is the 4th time this month and I’m getting a little sick of these […]
Gay Flight Attendant
I once was on a plane where I was served by an obviously homosexual male flight attendant. At one point, he bounced over to where I was sitting and announced “The Captain has asked me to announce that he will be landing the big scary plane shortly, so if you could just put up your […]
Little Rose
Little blue eyed Rose Sinclair,
Stood shyly by the barber’s chair
While Mr. Fairclough trimmed the hair
Of Rose’s father, sitting there.
And as she stood, she slowly ate
A bar of creamy choco-late
Her favourite milky ‘Twinkle Bar’
Bought earlier, by dear Papa.
“Don’t stand so close” the barber frowned
As clippings tumbled all around
“‘Cos’ standing there, the chances are
You’ll get hairs on […]
Adam and Eve
In the Garden of Eden,
As everyone knows,
Lives Adam and Eve,
Without any clothes.
In this garden,
Were two little leaves,
One covered Adam’s,
One covered Eve’s.
As the story goes on,
Never the less to say,
The wind came along,
And blew the leaves away.
At the sight,
Adam did stare,
There was Eve’s treasure,
All covered with hair.
And wonder came,
Under Eve’s eyes,
As Adam’s thing,
Started to rise.
They found […]
My First Time
The sky was dark
The moon was high
All alone
Just her and I
Her hair so soft
Her eyes so blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do
Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers
Down her spine
I didn’t know how
But I tried my best
To place my hand
On her breasts
I remember my fear
My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her […]
Ghost Hick
A visiting professor at Texas A & M University is giving a seminar on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: “How many people here believe in ghosts?” About 90 students raise their hands.
“Well that’s a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you […]
Lawyer’s Charity
The local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town’s most successful lawyer. A local volunteer calls to solicite his donation, saying “our research shows that even though your annual income is over a million dollars, you do not give one penny to charity! Wouldn’t you like to give […]
An Ounce Of Brains
A lawyer finds out he has an inoperable brain tumor. It’s so large, they have to do a brain transplant. His doctor gives him a choice of available brains. There’s a jar of rocket scientist brains for $10 an ounce, a jar of regular scientist brains for $15 an ounce, and a jar of lawyer […]
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